I suffer severe depression and often have suicidal thoughts. i have a history of clinical depression and suicidal tendency in the past. as of now, i have sudden outbursts that range from weepings to self harm. and during these spells i can almost feel my mind buzzing with critical thoughts and negativity. during these spells my body feels either extremely limp or overly tense. i have difficulty breathing. almost everyday i have trouble getting out of bed, i dont feel like it. i also cannot control my anger and there is no light or medium level of it, every little disturbing thing shoots off at the highest levels of my aggression.